When will this horrific chapter of my life end?

Today is 07 Feb 2012.

没有baby的第二十一天。

It is the 21st day after our breakup.

Actually I am writing this entry at 2am of 08 Feb 2012. It was supposed to be the start of my 61st mth anniversary with Baby. Never did I expect it 2 turn in2 3wks after our breakup. I had an urge to call you at 12am sharp juz now but I know you warned me not 2 contact u. I hope the 8th of every mth still means something 2 u.

I really miss you baby. I miss marina square. I miss us going to sakae 4 our 1st meal as a couple. I really miss that day. It was the happiest day of my life. I was so so so nervous. U made my heart raced. Why can't I have a time machine? I 1 to turn back time. I 1 us 2 start afresh. I am willing to sacrifice 20yrs of my life to exchange 4 a chance to have baby back by my side. 没有你的日子真的好恐怖。没有你我什么都不是。我真的不能没有你。你是我的全部。

I am completely lost. I am really sad. I really wish I can die as soon as possible. I really dun c a reason why I shld continue wif my life. People may say it is not worth it 2 die over a breakup but who really understands me? I am so miserable. I hope I can slp and never wake up again.

When will this horrific chapter of my life end? 2011 had been disastrous but 2012 has started off much much much worse than 2011.

Can someone up dere guide me?

I will always love you baby. I hope I will still have a chance to be yr dearie in my other lifetimes.