You are one special special girl.

Today is 22nd May 2012.
没有baby的第一百二十六天。
It is the 126th day after our breakup.
I just had dinner wif my baby a few hrs ago. I really hope baby will not be so sad when she wakes up in the morning. I know she is very stressed and scared about her exam nxt wk. I was so helpless when she called me earlier in the day. Baby was crying and telling me she does not 1 2 study le. It pained my heart so badly. How I wished I could hug her tightly and comfort her and tell her everything is fine.

Baby baby... Please dun ever doubt yr own ability. You are one special special girl. You have brains, the most angelic & sweetest face, the cutest n happiest character, the most bubbly personality and a body that can kill all men on earth. What more do you want? Never say u r stupid or dumb ever again. You are definitely not. All you need is just concentration and self belief. As long you can have the correct mindset and determination to study, you will be able to pass it. Put your heart and soul in to study if you really 1 2 try the paper. I know you so well. Nothing is 2 hard 4 you. Tell yourself you can make it and simply do it k. Jiayou jiayou jiayou!!!!

I have absolute faith in you! You are the best baby! 我好爱你。好想抱你。永远都不放开。

It is May 2012, time passes so so so quickly.....

Today is 1st May 2012.

没有baby的第一百零五天。

It is the 105th day without baby by my side.

I still remember on the very same day 7 years ago, I told baby I like her alot. I was on duty in army. I remember vividly tat I was trembling when I told baby i like her alot. I was so silly. I told her I want to be her 小白. Baby was so shocked. She never expected that I would declare my feelings for her so suddenly. She dare not reply and I was so sad. I could not sleep that whole night. I kept checking my phone hoping that baby wld reply me. I was so worried that I had lost such a gd fren. Luckily, baby replied me the next morning but she told me we would be betta off as frens. I was really sad but also relieved that baby did not choose 2 ignore me.

Forward 7 yrs to today, here I am tinking and missing baby so so so much. I juz saw baby's facebook post ytd. She was so looking forward to yesterday and she said it will be a happy day. I guess her boyfren must have brought her out and she was so happy that she could spend the day with him. I am really jealous. Super duper jealous. However, I really hope that baby will be happy and I know once he has time 4 baby, she will be super happy and will not contact me.

I totally understand baby. I was not the guy she loved right from the start. She already loved him so much even b4 we got 2gether. Love cannot be forced. I know baby will do anything for him as long as he says it. That is how much she loves him. All I hope is he really treat baby well and will not toy with her feelings and throw her aside once he has enough of her.

Baby... I really hope you will be back to your original happy and genuine self. Stop being another person 4 the sake of him k. B yrself. Find back yourself and b truly happy! I 1 you to find back that bright sparkle in those beautiful eyes of yours.

I hope you are sleeping soundly. Have a good sleep.

I love you. I really do.

"If you could see inside my soul
see inside my heart
you would know how I long for you
whenever we're apart
If you could see inside my head
if thoughts were things to see
you would know how I cherish you
how much you mean to me
The sparkle in your beautiful eyes
your smile, laugh, your touch
are just a few of many reasons
I love you oh so much
I could search the whole world over
and this I know is true
I would never find another love
like the love I found with you"

对你的思念是好深好深。

Today is 14 April 2012.

没有baby的第八十八天。

It is the 88th day after our breakup.

It is almost 3months without baby by my side. The feeling is so awful. I am lost. Totally lost.

I am tinking of you baby. All I can do is tink bout u. 对你的思念是好深好深。

我的心真的伤的好深。看你为他哭的那么伤心让我好心痛。听你说你们和好了，我也好矛盾。

爱情真令人又爱又狠。但是我今身今史都不会后悔那么爱你。

因为我不知道下一背子是否还能遇见你。

你永远是我最深爱的公主。我好爱你。

祝你幸福。

I am contented just by seeing you

It is my 2nd entry in less than 24hrs.

It is a happy day 4 me. I watched a movie.

I am really proud to have been her dearie 4 1836days. I just hope baby will not neglect her own health coz she 1 2 slim down. You are so beautiful baby. You really are. I can seriously tell you how many ppl were looking at you. They must b wondering how you r so beautiful and not appear on tv yet.

I miss you so much. I want 2 have a fun day wif baby!!! Dun worry baby... You r not giving me false hope. I know we are totally finished. I am no longer harbouring any tot of us getting back together. I am contented just by seeing you.

Thank you baby princess. I love you.

"Any minute I'm not with you, I hope I'll see you soon. There's just something that happens when you walk into the room. And instantly, I feel so complete. It hits me right about the time you kiss my cheek. And you give me this feeling, it's like no other feeling, but it knocks me off my feet."

I raise my hand to your cheeks and I can feel my heart skip a beat "Being with you is like dancing in the summer rain. It's like sleeping in my own bed after I've been away for too long. It's like miles of highway stretching out before me, with no other cars in view. It's like running through sprinklers on a scorching day. It's like receiving a letter I've waited so long for. It's like finishing a five thousand-piece puzzle. Life's not perfect, but when you're with me, it's pretty damn close."

我真的真的好想你。

Today is 25th March 2012.

没有baby的第六十八天。

It is the 68th day after our breakup.

It has been 24 days since I last posted an entry. The reason why I had stopped 4 almost a month is becoz everytime I write an entry I will feel so terrible. I dun feel gd today. I dunnoe if I did the right thing yestersday. I really feel so guilty.

Time really passes so quickly.... It will soon be 3months without baby by my side. Life without baby is really tough and sad. Do you even know how much I miss u everyday? How I wish baby was with me juz now when we took a picture 4 mum's birthday. My family is simply incomplete without baby. I know it is no longer possible to have another foto with me or my family. My baby might have already been in YU KEN MIN's family portrait already.

I really hope you are happy now. I hope you will take good care of yrself. I wish your health will improve and u will be less stressed.

I love you. I really do. It pains my heart to accept the fact that u are in his arms n not mine but I know I have to accept it slowly. I still dream of you frequently and I hope you will still remember me.

我真的真的好想你。

I 1 2 buy a time machine. Can anyone tell me where I can get it?

Today is 29th Feb 2012.

没有baby的第四十三天。

It is the 43rd day after our breakup.

It is a special day today. It is a day that will only appear once in 4 yrs. I would love 2 spend such a day with the one and only special person in my heart but I have already lost her.

I am already contented to c baby's msg at 12.13am saying hello to me.... Seeing her msg n toking 2 her have become my only hobbies now. The transition from seeing baby 4 almost every single day 4 5 str8 yrs 2 now is really scary and ultra difficult.

I really wish 2 turn back time. I 1 2 buy a time machine. Can anyone tell me where I can get it?

Baby told me she was hungry and I told her 2 call her guy 2 take her 4 supper.... She replied and asked me if I could bring her instead... She is such a mischievous gal.... Never fails 2 make me happy n smile. I have an urge 2 hug baby real tight.

我好想紧紧抱着你永远都不再放开。

I always go KTV with him ah....

Today is 28th Feb 2012.

没有baby的第四十二天。

It is the 42nd day after our breakup.

Baby finally gave me a call at 9.07am this morning... I was delighted to c her call!!! I have waited so many hrs 2 finally hear her sweet voice. But the stupid reception killed the call! Baby asked me if she should get a sales job. She said she wants 2 be independent. I was so happy 2 hear that but when I told her she shld be abit independent n abit dependent on me, she gave me an angry face and asked me why me.. She told me I left her broken and the broken pieces of her heart have already been picked up by others... How I wish I were the only guy mending the broken pieces of her heart bit by bit till the end of time.

My heart brought me 2 Rachel's house... I hoped 2 catch a glimpse of baby thinking she will be dere... What a fool I was... I juz kept walking n walking... I remember the good old times when we strolled out from Rachel's place. I remember the time where we bought the durians from the mama shop and sat at the park n ate while njoying each other's company... It was so much fun den. I really miss it.... I am really sad that I will never get to stroll with baby hand in hand ever again. I really miss holding her small n icy hands...

Baby msged me at 1231am saying she was singing k.. I was so shocked to hear that... During our 5 yrs together, we only went ktv twice on our own... I remember hugging baby as we were singing.. Baby loved to sing 恋爱评碌with me.... I wish we can sing a duet again. I really wish....

Baby told me she always goes ktv with YU KEN MIN. I was really jealous when she said it. I still am. I hate the fact that he will be holding my baby in his arms as they sing... 我真的好痛苦。好痛好痛。

Baby called me and as we were chatting, YU KEN MIN called her. She hung up my phone immediately. That was the moment it dawned upon me that my baby has really left me. The feeling was so sucky... I have lost my baby.

I have no 1 2 blame but myself... I brought all these upon myself... I failed to cherish baby when she was by my side.

I love you baby. I really do.