It seemed like only yesterday that we strolled from Fullerton Hotel to Marina Square.

Today is 09 Feb 2012.

没有baby的第二十三天。

It is the 23rd day after our breakup.

It is already 540am as I am writing this entry. I can't sleep. There is so much things weighing me down. I really miss baby. Everything feels wrong without baby by my side. I miss you baby. I miss you so much. I am so frightened of this feeling. 以前的日子我好快乐， 有你多好。现在，每天陪着我的是寂寞。我的心真的好痛好痛。

I remember the last 2 times b4 I started work and the time b4 I entered army. I was always so sad that I can no longer spend as much time with baby. Baby will also be very sad that I had 2 work and you will cry in my arms. We will always enjoy each other company 4 as many hrs as possible 4 the few days b4 I start work. How I wish I can spend some time wif you baby. I really need yr encouragement and motivation. I 1 2 be brave but somehow I cannot find the courage. All I can do is cry n cry. I am really useless but I can't stop my tears from flowing down.

Baby called me at 415pm this afternoon. I was absolutely delighted when I saw her call. It was the best thing that happened to me since her last call on sun. I have waited more than 87hrs 4 her call. I really miss her voice. Baby told me she bot a Chanel earring. I felt so guilty when I heard that. I shld be the person buying 4 her coz baby set her sights on that earrings 4 quite some time already. What was I thinking last yr? Why did I have to lose so much money but did not even spend a mere 400plus 2 brighten up baby's day? I was so disgusting. I was an idiotic asshole. I vow to spend 10times 50 times or 100times more of what I had lost on baby. I 1 2 get baby all the stuff that she likes. I promised her so many but din get her anything. I still remember saying I will get baby a pair of Jimmy Choo wif my 1st pay check but my pay was not even enuf 2 buy 1. What a loser I was. I disappointed baby countless times. I will get baby Jimmy Choo, Christian Louboutins, Manolo Blahnik, Chanel 2.55, B bag and sexy La perla lingerie. I hope I can get it 4 baby ASAP.

I know baby is not happy. Being yr dearie 4 5 yrs, I definitely understand you. I know you are doing retail therapy now. I know u like to shop to 4get all the unhappy incidents. I can tell from your voice. I will never 4get wat u said just now. U said u will call me again when u get another Chanel earrings. I totally got what u meant. U are still super angry that I can lose so much money but I did not buy u sth u like. I understand how u feel baby. What done cannot be undone. All I can do now is 2 try 2 earn money and get u the stuff I promised u the past 5 yrs. I will never 4get what I promised u. I will keep 2 my words.

I am touched by u saying that you have not decided whether to let other ppl support u or u will support yrself. I really hope you can take some time 2 seriously consider this issue. I 1 2 b the guy who will support u as I said 2 u b4. I know I have the ability to provide 4 u. I need some time 2 prove myself but I will shorten the time as short as possible. I yearn 4 the chance 2 care 4 my baby once again. I miss taking care of u. I miss buying food 4 u. I miss cooking 4 u. I know baby loves my fried egg. I 1 2 cook up a sumptuous meal 4 u. I 1 baby 2 hug me tightly just like in the past. I feel so xing fu everytime baby hugs me. I miss yr hug baby.

Just now, I was waiting 4 Yongjie and I was standing along Singapore River. So so many beautiful memories appeared in my head. It seemed like only yesterday that we strolled from Fullerton Hotel 2 Marina Square. Do you still remember? Baby accompanied me 4 lunch when I was at Hsbc 4 that 2 mths. We will walk past the river thru esplanade n 2 marina square. I know baby 1 2 get married at Fullerton. I really hope I can marry you there. I am still praying we can get to hold our wedding there in 3yrs time. I am praying real hard to hear you say I do.

I love you baby. I really do.