他是我的男朋友。

Today is 24th Feb 2012.

没有baby的第三十八天。

It is the 38th day after our breakup.

After work, I just kept walking and walking. I just 1 2 tire myself out. I hate reality. I am a coward. I really dun 1 2 face reality. I cannot accept the fact that my baby is with another man now. It really breaks my heart.

I walked from my office all the way to Lavender and then to far east plaza and finally to the bus stop opp Wheelock. As I walked past Singapore flyer, I remembered the last time baby and I went there. It was such a happy day then. We were strolling hand in hand along the running track with the cooling breeze in our faces. I still remember baby saw a toddler who was running happily dere with his parents and he liked baby alot. Baby played with him and baby was so happy!! I still remember baby's sweet smile as she played with the "toy". It was a moment where i felt maybe in a few yrs time we could have a kid and go dere as a family. I would love to start a small family with my baby but I am also worried bout her health. I dun tink she can carry a baby as her health is really bad. I will never risk my baby's life coz of a baby. She is my everything. I will never let her go thru such risk. What am I tinking now?? I am simply daydreaming. Baby is no longer wif me.

I could have never imagined myself eating dinner on a Friday night all by myself in the past. Today was the 1st time that I actually did it. I told myself I have to adapt to life being alone. I really have to accept that baby is not by my side anymore. 陪着我的是孤单不是宝贝。

Baby told me “他是我的男朋友。” It was a tight tight slap on my face. It felt so so so painful as if a dagger piercing thru my heart.

我的心好痛好痛。真的好赤痛。

我知道我很不要脸但是爱情是没有对还是错，你可以不爱我但是你不可以不让我爱你。

我是真的真的好爱你。