Today is 16 Jan 2012.
Our 1835th day together.
Its the 17th day of our cooling period.
Baby surprised me by calling at 2.24pm. I was really happy to see her call. Happy is an understatement. I was delighted. I can't even recall the last time baby called me. However, after the call and a few messages lata, I could not help but feel our relationship might have ended.
Baby asked me to stop calling her baby. I was stunned. Totally. It affected me so much. Tears swelled in my eyes instantly. My beloved princess actually requested me to stop calling her baby. I could not believe it. I love calling baby baby. It made me feel so close 2 her. I feel that i am so lucky to have such a great baby. It is all my fault that things turned out this way. I neglected baby for the whole of 2011. I made her so sad and lose faith n hope in me. Who can i blame but myself? I really cherish our relationship. I really do.
Baby wanted me to understand she is happier without me. She feels less stress and she said she likes being alone. All those words broke my heart. It was as if i was stabbed in my heart. It was so painful to see my baby saying all those hurtful words to me. I told baby she felt this way coz we have been together 4 almost everyday since we got 2gether and she took a few wks break from me and that was the reason she was happier for the past few wks. I know my baby loves to try out new activities and loves going out wif frens.
I also understand that our relationship have become unhealthy coz we met too often and ran out of activities. I am sure we can mend our relationship and we will be able to regain our sparks. I have thought of so many activities that we can do if baby decides to give me 1 last chance but the chances are very slim now.
Baby said she will not be wif me anymore. This sentence made me real sad. Have we really reached our end? I really cannot take it. I really cannot. I am still praying and praying that a miracle will happen.
Why have things turned out this way? Why why why? Exactly 2 mths ago, we were still in Phuket enjoying the villa and the beautiful beach. We had lunch on the beach and were so happy there. Come today, we are on the verge of breakup. I hate this word. I detest it completely.
Why can't i turn back the clock to 2010? Why can't i delete 2011 from my life? I hate 2011. It destroyed my life. I am really afraid. Everything looks so bleak for me. Without baby, life is absolutely pointless. I live for baby. No baby= No dearie. I guess my end is near. I dunnoe how i can carry on with my life. I live in agony every single day. I cry everyday. I am really tired.
Baby baby... I am sorry I caused you so much pain. I did not mean to hurt you. It breaks my heart to see you so sad. Can you take gd care of yrself? I worry bout u everyday. I am always thinking: Is my baby feeling well today? Did she drink enough water today? Did she eat regular meals? I dun 1 her to have gastric pain. I really hope baby's health can improve.
I 1 baby to be happy. I miss you everyday. I really hope baby can reconsider. I dun 1 a breakup. I really dun 1. I 1 2 be wif baby forever and ever. I 1 2 be baby for my nxt lifetime and nxt nxt nxt nxt...... I love you baby. I love you.
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