I need to map out my life!

Today is the 10th of Jan 2012.

Our 1829th day together.

It is the eleventh day of our cooling off period.

This was the 1st time that my bro and i went to East Coast Park together.

I was very touched that he made an effort to go all the way there with me.

He came back home ard 4am in the morning and i simply made a remark to him that i will be goin ECP in the morning in the hope that i can c my baby as i took a gamble that she might go running again. Never did i expect him to say he will accompany me! He said just wake him up when i was about to leave. I guessed he was also worried about this useless bro of his but his gesture really made me happy.

I did not dare to sleep as i was afraid i might not wake up so i just waited for time to pass. Once the alarm sounded, i decided not to wake my bro 1st as he only slept 4 2 hrs only. I decided to leave an hr later. 1hr swiftly passed and i went to wake him up. He really woke up and we left 4 our destination! We decided to bus there and it was a really big mistake! We ended up at ECP in 2hrs 40mins later!! Wat a long ride! Once i alighted i kept scanning around in the hope tat my baby is somewhere in sight. To my disappointment, i did not manage to c her.

We decided to rent a bike and go 4 breakfast. So we walked and walked hoping to find a bicycle kiosk. To our horror, there was no kiosk in that part of ECP!!! We laughed at ourselves and decided to walk all the way to the area that rents bicycles. As we walked, rain started to fall and there we were walking in the rain! So romantic!!! wahahahahhaha. We decided to walk back towards baby's house to have breakfast.

In my head, i was thinking i should not have made Yang travel all the way there with me, causing him to get caught in the rain. I was really worried he might catch a cold as his health had not been fantastic. On our way to Baby's house, a miracle happened. From far, i saw the silhouette of someone very familiar. As the figure came closer to us, i was overjoyed. There she was, my baby princess, jogging towards us!!! I was really happy. My dream really came through! I really met my baby. She was quite shocked to c us but i was relieved that she stopped and spoke to us. She continued her jog and i just tagged along. Yang had to follow behind us. It was really quite awkward for him but he did not say anything.

Baby was not happy at seeing me. She was angry that i spoiled her morning jog. She said that she did not 1 2 c me when i have no accomplishments in life. That really hurt me. I really missed her and really wanted to c her. She said she wants to get married by 30, have a house, Vera Wang dress and louboutins. I really want to fulfill her wishes. I said to myself i must work my socks off once i get a sales job. I will work hard to pay off my debts and provide baby with a comfortable life. I know i will be able to make it if baby encourages and motivates me! She is my everything. She is the only reason why i will work hard for. I know i am very unfillial to have said such words but baby is the main reason why i will turn over a new leaf. She gives me the courage and determination to carry on with my life. I really love her with all my heart and soul. Baby told me she wants to eat at Waku Ghin on her birthday. I promised her a B bag months ago. I felt that i am such a idiot. Why can i lose so much money yet can't even get a bag for her? I really hate myself. I disappointed her time and time again. I am such a letdown.

I vow that from my next paycheck onwards i will buy anything that i can afford for baby till my last breath. I neglected her way too much last year. I want to give my baby the very best things in life. I am sure i will be able to do it. I will strive and work my socks off in order to fulfill her wish that we will get married by 30. She will be 27 in 21 days time. i totally understand she needs to see a future in me so that she can continue to be my baby. I told myself i have 3 years to make it. I am sure i will be able to do it. Baby said she needs to see a timeline of our future and i will draw one out once i secure a job. I am praying hard i wil get an interview latest by next week! Fingers crossed.