Steamboat without baby is saddening to the max

Today is 27 Jan 2012.

没有baby的第十天。

It is the 10th day after our breakup.

Msged baby to tell her that she can still pay her exam fees b4 31st Jan. She replied me "Thanks Thanks :) n all the best 4 yr interview lata." I was so hurt. My baby is treating me like a stranger. I hate that feeling. I really hate it. When yr beloved says just that 2 u, one can simply feel the reluctance to continue the conversation. After my interview, the 1st thing on my mind was to ask baby if she had found the form 4 the fees. She said she was out shopping and did not have time to find. I asked if she has time 4 coffee but she said she meeting Ruth they all. She told me Ruth was announcing her engagement and they r very xinfu. I can feel her jealousy and she really envies Ruth.

I know Baby also wants 2 get engaged but I am simply useless. Why did I fail to plan 4 our future? If I had planned and saved money since 5years ago, we could have engaged by now. I am just so stupid and foolish. I understand Baby so much but I failed to tink of our future seriously. It is only till now when Baby has left me and here I am regretting my past actions. I love baby so much but I failed to give her security. I should have been rational and realistic. A couple will never survive just on love. If I love her, I must work hard and provide 4 her and prove 2 her I am her Mr Right. All I did was stay by her side everyday and protect her. All my actions were wrong. A healthy relationship shld never be like us. I shld have given baby more space and freedom and not be so possessive.

I really miss you baby. Will I ever get a chance 2 prove myself 2 u again? I tink of u every single day. I will be thinking whether have you eaten and drink enuf water, whether have you fallen sick and whether you will even tink bout me.. My baby used to miss me everyday and kiss and hug me daily. I miss yr hug, yr kiss, yr everything.

I hope you are sleeping soundly baby. It is going to be another wkend without baby. My house have been so different without you. My parents miss u 2. They dare not say it out coz they r afraid 2 make me sad. My whole family misses you so much. You are already part of us since 5yrs ago. Just now when we had steamboat, I just cannot stop tinking of u. We had steamboat together the past few yrs. We were always so happy when we eat. This year round, I really had no appetite even though it is my 1st meal of the day. I just c no reason why I shld eat and I have no appetite oso. I have lost my appetite since losing you. I guess I will b able to slim down soon.

Will I ever get my appetite and gd slp back? I really hope baby will tink it through and give us a chance. We still have many 5yrs to go. I watched the tv today and keep seeing kites. How I wish I can go meet baby 4 breakfast in 5 hrs time and we go kite flying after that! I hope I will have a sweet dream lata coz it is only in the virtual world that we can go eat and play together.

I really cherish our relationship. I totally understand I screwed up 2 many times but I am sure I will redeem myself 4 the yrs 2 come. I will change and be a brand new dearie.

I love you baby.