Today is 26 Jan 2012.
没有baby的第九天。
It is the 9th day after our breakup.
I decided to call baby after 1 wk without contacting her. I really dun 1 to disturb her but I could not control myself. She did not 1 2 pick up and messaged me instead. I was devastated. I really miss her and really wanted to hear her voice. I have been bottling up my emotions 4 the past 1 wk and I really could not take it anymore. Tears just continue to roll down daily. I am in agony. The feeling is horrible. I refuse to wake up daily. I dun have the courage to face a new day. My life is torn. I cannot live without baby.
Went 2 meet Junmin and Yongjie 4 dinner at Marche. It has been a yr since I met Junmin and he has changed so much. He is spotting the same hairstyle as sec sch days! He is just so comical. I am really shocked to hear he has been travelling with his "fren". He chose 2 travel with her as she went on audit overseas. It must not have been easy 4 him 2 choose this path. I really dun understand him as he said he is not really settled wif his fren but he had taken so many days of unpaid leave just 2 accompany her as she worked. I guess he loves her alot to make such a sacrifice but he refuses to admit it. How I wish I am a successful guy and baby can travel with me as I work. However, I will not feel safe to leave baby all alone in another country. That's simply 2 dangerous le.
After dinner, we went Cold Stone where they had a cup of icecream. We continued to chit chat and Junmin asked me if I really wanted to do sales. He is very worried that I might hate the job as he has known me since sec 1. I really want to have a job where I can work 7 days a wk. I need a job real fast. I can't do this anymore. I am tired of my current life. I have nothing to look 4ward everyday. All I can do is look back at my beautiful memories with Baby and all I will do is cry n cry. Why am I doing all these? Why why why? I love Baby wif all my heart and soul. Now, I am a person without a heart and soul. I tink maybe I really need to start taking medication.
Zeyan called me as Yongjie and I were on our way hm. We decided to meet 4 supper as he had not taken dinner. During our meet up, Baby finally msg me. Although she msg me coz she wanted 2 ask if I have her resume, I am just happy to c her msg. It is the same as that day when she asked me 2 help her buy 4D. People may say I am foolish to be used by Baby but to me I dun feel it tat way. I love her wif all my heart. Watever she asks me 2 do, I will do it 4 her. She still means everything 2 me. I have given everything up 4 Baby and I will do it 4ever. To me, she is my everything. She is my goddess and will always be.
I called baby once I reached hm and was so happy that she picked up. However, she asked me to call her back in 10mins after we spoke 4 a few mins. Yu Ken Min wanted to talk to her. I have 2 make myself scarce. I spent the nxt 1 hr calling her and finally she ended the call. I was heartbroken. I really am. My baby spent 1 hr toking to him and all I could do was wait and keep calling till she ended the call coz she has no 2nd line. The 1 hr was so miserable. Here I was waiting patiently and there she was saying sweet nothings to another guy. I was totally shivering in tears. I am really scared. I really cannot bear losing baby 2 another guy. Why am I so useless?
How can I simply let my baby go into another man's arms without putting up a fight? I spoke wif baby and begged her to take some time to seriously consider b4 entering in2 a new relationship. I really hope Baby can listen 2 me and cool down 1st b4 committing. I really hope baby can protect herself. I pray everyday to Guanyin Niang Niang to ask her to look over baby and I am sure she will protect baby. I have faith in baby.
Baby suddenly told me she wants 2 go work 4 2 yrs. I was so shocked to hear that. Just last wk, she was telling me she dun 1 2 work and now she has suddenly change her mind. Is Yu Ken Min's words really so powerful? Does he mean so much 2 u? He is only just back and started contacting you 4 a few mths at most. Once he is back, the 1st thing he tells u is to break up wif me and you listened 2 him? I know we had so many problems but it was because we did not sit down n plan 4 our future. I am certainly not a stupid guy and I am sure we will have a future if I put in xtra effort and hard work. I can give up everything 4 baby and I am sure I am the only person in this world who loves you so much. I know words are cheap so I will let my actions prove to baby I am the guy who loves you the most and my heart will never change. I am a Scorpio and my personality test results speak 4 themselves. I will never give up on us coz I am sure we still have a future if I put in my best efforts.
I know Baby is happy now. I know baby loves new stuff. You are my baby 4 5 yrs and I totally understand you. You might b happy now coz you are starting a new relationship but pls give yrself a few mths hao mah? As I said, if you really choose him after a few mths lata, I will give you my blessings. I will not give up on us and I really hope you can tink it thru carefully. I will be waiting 4 u baby. I love you and I mean each and every single word I say.
Baby baby, I hope you will recover from yr flu when u wake up in the morning! Muacks muacks muacks.
I really miss the days when u said muacks muacks muacks 2 me. I miss u missing me.
Thank you 4 giving me the chance to love and dote on you. The past 5 yrs have really been my happiest period of my life and I really hope we will have more 5 yrs 2 come. 50years would be perfect and I can imagine us still being lovey dovey at the old age of 77.
I 1 2 spend the rest of my life wif u and I really hope I still have a chance.
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